Helping Children Cope with Grief: Hospice of the Comforter’s Horizons Children’s Loss Program
January 14, 2010 | By: Robin Katz, M.Ed, Children's Loss Educator
As one of Hospice of the Comforter’s Children’s Loss Educators, there is an old adage I have never really liked: “Children should be seen but not heard.” In the case of a grieving child, he or she may feel neither seen nor heard.
An eight-year-old student in one of my grief support groups, who I will call Amy, once asked to talk to me privately after the other students had returned to class. Her eyes were cast down and her voice was almost a whisper as she said, “Ms. Robin, since my mom died, I feel invisible. My Dad is always working and I miss my Mom so much.” I asked if she had told her dad how she was feeling. “No,” she said, “he would just get angry at me.” We spent some time talking about how her Dad was also missing her Mom and that being a single parent was a new experience for him, but Amy still did not feel quite ready to talk with her Dad.
A group of students at a Horizons Grief Support Group
When Amy returned to school after the winter break she shared that she was still unable to talk to her family about her feelings of being invisible. I suggested we role-play talking to her Dad, and we took turns practicing. After a few tries Amy was able to look me in the eyes, speak loudly enough to be heard, and say “Dad, since Mom died, I feel invisible.”
After the next group meeting, Amy approached me with a shy grin and said, “I told my Dad and he didn’t get mad. On Saturday he stayed home from work and we had a really good time together.”
Hospice of the Comforter’s Horizons Children’s Loss Program helps children learn how to cope with their grief. Children who attend our groups learn that sharing their pain and being understood is part of the healing process, and, like Amy, learn healthy ways to express their thoughts and feelings. Groups are available at any school in Orange, Seminole, or Osceola County at no cost, and individual counseling sessions are available at Hospice of the Comforter’s Horizons Bereavement Center in Altamonte Springs. For more information or to obtain grief support for your child, please email or call the Horizons Bereavement Center at (407) 379-0490.
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